WHAT PARENTS SHOULD (AND SHOULDN’T) DO IN SECONDARY 4

By Good School Learning Hub

Secondary 4 is a year where parental intentions matter just as much as student effort. Parents want to support their child through O-Level year, but uncertainty and pressure can make it difficult to know what actually helps. After more than 15 years of guiding Sec 4 students and their families, I’ve found that small parental actions—often unintentional—can either stabilise a student or significantly increase stress.

What Often Goes Wrong:

One common issue is reacting too strongly to individual results. When every test is treated as a signal of success or failure, students begin to associate effort with fear rather than learning. Another frequent misstep is constant monitoring—repeatedly checking revision progress, comparing study hours, or asking about marks daily. While these behaviours come from concern, they can make students feel mistrusted or under constant evaluation.

What to Avoid Doing:

Certain actions tend to increase pressure without improving outcomes:

• Comparing your child’s progress with classmates, siblings, or online stories

• Using phrases that imply finality, such as “this year decides everything”

• Changing strategies drastically after one poor result

• Micromanaging revision schedules instead of guiding them

These responses often heighten anxiety and reduce a student’s sense of control.

What Helps Instead:

Students cope better when parents provide steadiness rather than urgency. Keeping routines predictable, responding calmly to setbacks, and focusing conversations on effort and improvement help students stay grounded. Checking in about understanding rather than marks, and offering help without taking over, builds confidence and independence. When expectations are clear but reasonable, students feel supported rather than pressured.

Finding the Right Balance:

Some parents step back completely to avoid adding stress, while others become more involved as exams approach. Both extremes have limitations. Too much distance can leave students feeling unsupported, while too much involvement can erode confidence. A balanced approach—being present, calm, and consistent—allows students to take ownership of their preparation while knowing support is always available.

Further thoughts:

Parents do not need to do everything “right” in Sec 4 to help their child succeed. What matters most is the overall environment at home. When students feel trusted, supported, and not judged by every result, they are better able to focus and persevere. With thoughtful guidance and steady reassurance, parents can play a powerful role in helping their child navigate O-Level year with resilience and confidence.